I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
