that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize