he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize