you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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