i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
