ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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