I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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