My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
