Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How naked do you want me to be?
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