Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
