she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Oh god it's open bar.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
