Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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