there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
