my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
