is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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