I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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