This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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