Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
