Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
