problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize