Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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