How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I love how my cats smell like pot.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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