She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
bring money and cleavage
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize