For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
