She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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