Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
