we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We have started to decorate penises.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
