You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
