ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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