More tranny stories later!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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