i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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