Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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