nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
