I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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