you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
