I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
