IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
