I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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