I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
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Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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