Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
