what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
