If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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