you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize