Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
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tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
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we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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