Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
