She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
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Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
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There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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