I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
