I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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