New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
