Kareoke will never be a sober sport
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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