What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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