Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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