So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize