You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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