Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize