kristin has been a bad kristin
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
