after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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