I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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