You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
