Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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