can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize