This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
