ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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