I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
