So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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