Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
