I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
