The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You dont lie about slip and slides
What drink are we having for lunch?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
